Brenda Winter
By Brenda Winter, columnistMarch 30, 2021One of my grandmas could make a jumping mouse out of a handkerchief. The other grandma let us have a sip of her beer and eat supper without washing our hands. One grandma took us to the store to buy pop and candy, the other entertained us for hours by telling stories from her childhood in Germany. I loved both of my grandmas. I didn’t love them for what they could do. I loved them because they…
By Brenda Winter, columnistMarch 02, 2021There are two types of clean at my house: “clean” and “Dutch lady clean.” My husband and I coined the phrase “Dutch lady clean” after observing a trio of Dutch ladies clean a public restroom at a Christian music festival. With gloves, buckets, rags and spray bottles in hand, the ladies stormed the filthy bathroom like troops storming Normandy, leaving behind a sparkling path of defeated germs,…
By Brenda Winter, columnistFebruary 02, 2021ATLAS of Rock County and Redeemed Remnants, the ATLAS-sponsored thrift shop, plan to soon be under one roof in the former Luverne Kawasaki building. (That’s the former Bargain Center for you old-timers, the former Kenny’s Super Valu for you really old-timers.) The planned move has been the worst-kept secret in Rock County for about four months. Real estate negotiations require a level of secrecy…
By Brenda Winter, columnistJanuary 12, 2021I raised my kids with “chore charts” so it’s no surprise that my oldest daughter’s oldest daughter is carrying on the tradition. She’s five. Nothing makes her happier than a timeline, a calendar or a chore chart. Her daily duties include the “pick up toys” and “brush teeth” requirements one expects of a five-year-old. She was so excited about her own chore chart that she made one for her three-…
By Brenda Winter, columnistDecember 08, 2020I've become a hypochondriac. In the past month, I’ve had a headache and wondered, “Do I have Covid-19?” And then, “I wonder if I’ll need a ventilator?” And then, “Who will attend my funeral if the guests are limited to members of only one household?” I’ve had a scratchy throat and wondered, “Is this the end? Of course, I have allergies, I swept a dusty garage floor yesterday, and the air is…
By Brenda Winter, columnistNovember 17, 2020There is a story in the Old Testament where the patriarch Abraham gives his selfish nephew, Lot, first choice in selecting farmland. Lot, being a bit of a jerk, takes all the good land and forces his uncle to pack his bags and move on. Abraham must have been downcast or pouting or something because God spoke to Abraham and said, (and I paraphrase) “Hey! Look up! Look around! You still have plenty…
By Brenda Winter, columnistOctober 27, 2020I have lots of opinions about the outcome of the 2020 presidential election next Tuesday, but I’m not going to share them here – or pretty much anywhere. Mostly because I want us to remain friends. My husband and I get along great with our neighbors to the west who proudly display a TRUMP! sign, and we get along just as well with our neighbors to the south who proudly display a BIDEN! sign. I…
By Brenda Winter, columnistSeptember 29, 2020I have never taken a vacation with my whole family. There is a 20-year age difference between the older three children and our younger sister. Because of the age difference, our parents have never vacationed with all four of their offspring at the same time. Until last week. With my brother and dad on motorcycles and my mom, sisters and me in the chase car, we headed south. We also had a stow-…
By Brenda Winter, columnistSeptember 08, 2020Seventy-some years ago our grandparents would not have thought it was possible. We were at a fundraiser for a community member who’d received a discouraging diagnosis. Standing in the shade, we reflected on who we were and from where we had come. The Norwegian shared stories his mother told of German-occupied Norway. Her childhood memories included hiding in the house listening to the footsteps…
By Brenda Winter, columnistAugust 04, 2020It’s a goal of mine to have at least one funny line in every column I write, but there’s nothing very funny about the times in which we live. Being funny has become a challenge. I’ve already written about the funny neighborhood woodchuck that has since waddled out of the neighborhood. I could write about the Covid impulse-buy chickens living in my back yard, but then some “karen” might turn me in…
By Brenda Winter, columnistJuly 07, 2020“Yep. It’s a woodchuck.” I made the declaration with confidence after spending half an hour studying a compelling article titled, “Woodchucks and their droppings.” The little fella startled me for the first time last week when he emerged from under a wide-leafed plant in my garden. I greeted his fat little nose and big brown eyes with a lump of dirt followed by a bucket of water. He took no…
By Brenda Winter, columnistJune 09, 2020I was just learning to read when I handed my mom the anniversary card I’d found in a box on her desk. With all the over-dramatic “ohhs and ahhs” one gives a child for doing a good thing, Mom received the card with appreciation and read it silently. Then — she collapsed into a heap of laughter and could not stop laughing. She laughed the kind of laugh one laughs when trying not to laugh. I’m sure…
By Brenda Winter, columnistMay 12, 2020My vision for the future is unclear, mostly because I can’t see through my bangs. Whoever said hair styling is not an essential service has not seen me with eight bobby pins holding the hair out of my eyes. I’ve always had short hair with short bangs, not the sheepdog bangs I have now. As a little girl, I experienced various methods of bang trimming. The Scotch tape method involved placing a…
By Brenda Winter, columnistMarch 17, 2020The coronavirus isn’t all bad. It might take awhile, but here are 10 good things I think will come after the corona virus is no longer front page news. #1. The United States will end its insane reliance on foreign countries to produce our drugs and medical supplies. #2. Bringing those drug and medical supply factories home to U.S. soil will result in more high quality manufacturing jobs for…
By Brenda Winter, columnistFebruary 25, 2020“Sir?” a voice asked from the golf course. “Sir?” My husband and I were sitting with two friends under a canopy by a pool near a palm tree next to a fairway in Arizona. We all turned toward the voice, expecting to see a golfer asking if we’d seen where a ball landed. Instead, we saw five or six SWAT team members, ARs and handguns drawn, being dragged down the fairway by an enthusiastic German…
By Brenda Winter, columnistJanuary 28, 2020I’ve spent most of my life trying to avoid exercise and I think I’ve been fairly successful. The time that so many of you have spent running, walking, biking and hiking, I’ve spent trying to avoid exercise. I may have burned nearly the same number of calories. One of my favorite exercise memories is the time in high school my sister and I were going to “run around the section.” (That’s four…
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