It’s a goal of mine to have at least one funny line in every column I write, but there’s nothing very funny about the times in which we live.
Being funny has become a challenge.
I’ve already written about the funny neighborhood woodchuck that has since waddled out of the neighborhood.
I could write about the Covid impulse-buy chickens living in my back yard, but then some “karen” might turn me in to the authorities. There would be nothing funny about that.
My niece has a new rabbit. Rabbits are funny, but I wrote an extensive rabbit series in 2015 – which ended with my bunny, Buddy, going to the park and refusing to come back. That was the day before the fox sighting.
I could write (again) about the stray cat, Not Our Cat, who has lived on our deck for the past four years. She brightens my mornings by leaving dead things on the doormat. Not funny.
But who wants to be known as the local dead and dying small animal columnist? Not me. I need a funny topic.
Well, I guess facemasks can be funny. Yesterday, wearing a facemask, I sneezed and fogged up my glasses. That was pretty funny.
If you pull your mask off too quickly, you could snap yourself in the face with the elastic strap – which is funny when it happens to somebody else.
Paper masks stick to your lips when you are wearing lipstick. That feels kind of funny.
Wearing a mask while singing in church causes the singer to suck the mask in on the deep inhale. This changes the singer’s focus from “A mighty fortress is our God” to “Is this thing really flapping back and forth on my face?”
Putting a dirty, filthy mask on your face that you found under the front seat of your car seems a little funny.
Making faces at people from behind your mask is funny, but who would admit doing that? I don’t do it, so I wouldn’t know.
Now that I think about it, I guess there is something very funny about the times in which we live.