Letters from the farm
As it turns out, leeches may be better parents than some humans. According to Reuters, certain species of leeches brood like birds and mammals, carrying their newborns and nurturing their young. Biologists at Monash University in Australia have observed leeches carrying their young for up to six weeks after hatching, gathering food for their offspring and protecting them from predators. "The leeches also ferry their offspring to new territories where they will be safe and well fed after they leave the parent," reports the news agency. This information should come as a big surprise for many people who associate leeches with parasites or selfish behavior. Knowing what we do about leeches, let’s examine why they might be Parents of the Year. For starters, leeches are often described as a low form of life. With that kind of a reputation for all of their lives, they don’t expect too much of their children. If the kids tend to be soft, squishy and slow moving, that’s okay. They don’t set far-flung, impossible goals as parents. Because they can have up to 10 pairs of eyes, nothing escapes their attention. For this reason, they resemble human mothers who have been known to admonish, "Don’t do anything wrong. Remember, I have eyes in the back of my head." Unable to speak or make sounds, they can’t talk about "the old days" when they had to slug four yards to school during snowstorms. Without mouths, they can’t dispense unwanted, parental advice. Because they’re classified as invertebrates, leech parents can’t say cruel things to their children, such as, "You’re spineless!" or "You have no backbone!" Without the ability to hear, they hold up well to criticisms of their parenting skills. If they could hear, "As a parent, you’re nothing but a slimy, blood-sucking leech," they would simply interpret the criticism as a matter-of-fact statement. The biggest plus for leech parents is that they’re hermaphroditic – – that is, they’re both male and female. As a result, there are no frayed nerves, tensions or loud arguments between parents in front of their offspring. Because of the gender thing, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day could be covered with one gift, one phone call and less guilt. In addition, there would be no father leeches telling their children, "Go ask your mother." If they had hands and foreheads, they would have to slap those foreheads and exclaim, "Oops! Forget that. I guess I AM your mother!" Most importantly, and unlike many human parents, leeches are often heroic and they are positive role models for little leeches. Through the ages, leeches have been used in the medical field to bleed patients and they are attributed with saving countless lives. Samuel Butler, an English satirist from the 1600s, was obviously a huge fan of blood-sucking leeches when he wrote, "A skillful leech is better far than half a hundred men of war." Few human parents receive that kind of praise. When they’re not saving human lives, leeches, many of them parents, literally put their lives on the line for the rest of us. In other words, they become fish bait and they’re responsible for putting food on the tables of people who might otherwise starve. Leech parents definitely deserve our admiration.