“Forever indebted” is how I’m feeling lately.
We picked up the supper tab for my sister, Lisa, one day last week. “You didn’t have to do that,” she objected.
It’s true we didn’t. But it seemed like a small thing considering all she’d done and been for us in the days following Carson’s passing.
She contacted family, organized helpers and food, kept me on track when my brain short-circuited, arranged memorials at the church and cried with me when tears welled over.
“Lisa, you were an angel at my side. I will be forever indebted to you.”
I said it again during a walk with my friend, Wendy.
“I’m so grateful for all you did,” I told her. “I will forever be indebted to you.”
She and her husband and the Kramers, Bensons and Bakkens were a small army of neighborhood angels to help and support us.
“It’s what friends do,” Wendy shrugged. And she’s right. We would have done the same for any of the other precious “family” members in the hood.
They aren’t the only ones I feel indebted to.
There were friends and family who dropped everything to drive — some of them several hours — to find us when they heard the news. Words failed, but their hugs and tears said it all.
So many people took time out of their busy lives to personally extend sympathies at the visitation and funeral. I was struck by the number of young people — many of them in their teens and 20s — who patiently made their way through the long line at the church on a Saturday night. This affected me deeply, and I feel indebted to them.
Sweet Gracie, who planned to one day marry my Carson, instead found herself planning his memorial event at the Verne Drive-in, her family’s business.
Her beautiful video on the big screen was a moving tribute to Carson and 62 other precious souls who lost their lives to mental illness and suicide.
That event, along with the T-shirt and window cling fundraiser by Eli and friends, prompted us to start “Carson’s Cause” at the Luverne Area Community Foundation.
Almost overnight, this fund, which will support local education for brain health, surpassed $10,000 as did a Dollars for Scholars fund in Carson’s memory.
This spontaneous generosity blows my mind, and I feel forever indebted.
There are many, many people I feel indebted to as we continue to grieve, and I’ve found myself wanting to return the favor if opportunity arises.
But, of course, I sincerely hope no one else must bury their child. … So, I resign myself to being “indebted,” which, by definition, means you owe someone something.
But Merriam Webster says the meaning of indebted is “owing gratitude or recognition.”
In other words, we’re grateful. … Deeply grateful for the kindnesses and generosity we’ve been shown in our darkest hour.
We can’t possibly thank everyone properly, and the favors may never be repaid, but we will meanwhile remain forever indebted.
Also known as grateful.