‘The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures’Former Star Herald reporter, Carole Olson, posted on her computer a quote by American hockey legend Wayne Gretzky. It said, "You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take."Carole wasn’t much of a hockey fan, as I recall, but she — like most of us — appreciates a well-coined inspirational phrase.One of my favorite quotes is by long-time marathon runner John Bingham, who said, "The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."Entire books are published on famous, inspirational quotes, and the American public buys them by the millions. We frame these messages on desktops and the wall. We put them on calendars, coffee mugs, t-shirts and Post-It notes.It’s a good thing, on one hand, because it means we at least intend to become better people — or at least more motivated, more patient, more loving, more something.On the other hand, we’ve reached a market saturation for the warm fuzzies, lending rise to anti-inspirational products offering a little comic relief.Despair Inc., Austin, Tex. is marketing this sentiment with products touting hilarious messages that perfectly counter all the good we’ve aspired to be."Cynical marketers have begun to fashion negative parodies to sooth the intellects, if not the souls, of a population grown weary of cheap hope," its catalog advertises. In the Positive Negations collection, Despair Inc. offers "idyllic titles coupled with dispirited sayings that promise happiness from afar, then slap you in the face for being so gullible."oSuccess: "Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams."oAchievement: "You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination and an endless supply of expendable labor."From the Idiotic Insights collection, there’s…oIdiocy: "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."oCluelessness: "There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots."From the Entropic Expression collection there’s…oDysfunction: "The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you."oMistakes: "It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others."From Megalomaniacal Maxims, there’s…oArrogance: "The best leaders inspire by example. When that’s not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too."oPower: "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too."oElitism: "It’s lonely at the top. But it’s comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom."oBlame: "The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures."The phrases, printed in stately type on serene photographs, can be purchased on coffee mugs, calendars, t-shirts and posters.Despair Inc. cleverly tells customers, "Motivational posters don’t work. But our Demotivational posters don’t work even better," and "Operators are waiting to take your money."Does it mean we’re bad people with twisted humor if we order products from Despair Inc.? No. It means we’re good people who recognize the value of a little comic relief.The company recognizes this too. "No matter who you are, you have the potential to be so much less," founder and COO E.L. Kersten writes. "And with the transformative powers of our Demotivators® products, you will be."