, 
Twenty-eight years ago, Pat and Helen Saum’s 15-year-old son, Jesse, died in a drowning accident in the Rock River at the city park.
On June 4 last year, Maggie and Nathan Siebenahler’s daughter, Kimber, died when a knot developed in her umbilical cord. It was the day before her scheduled delivery.
Their losses and their grief are unique tragedies, but both families seek comfort for their pain.
“You never get over it,” Maggie Siebenahler said. “You just live with it.”
Pat Saum said, “You learn how to live after the loss. That’s the whole point. We all have to carry on.”
The Saums went on to raise their two daughters, and the Siebenahlers are now busy with a 3-year-old and a 5-year-old and are expecting a baby in November.
But they’ll never forget the children who died, and they’re now working on a healing garden to remember them.
“For every person who lost a child, we have heard over and over again, ‘I don’t want my child to be forgotten. I don’t want people to forget their name,’” Pat Saum said.
Siebenahler got the idea from a “mothers’ healing garden” in Dell Rapids where parents have a place to remember their children and children of others in the community.
“Some people don’t find comfort in going to a cemetery, and this is just a peaceful non-denominational place,” she said.
‘Perfect. Peaceful. Quiet’
Local families are eyeing a piece of ground on the northwest side of the Catholic cemetery.
The 140-foot by 60-foot city-owned parcel is north of Tonto Park and alongside the Loop trail where it curves.
“When I saw it, I thought, ‘This is perfect,’” Saum said. “It’s beautiful. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. There’s shade here.”
While the drawings are still coming together the group decided to name it “Children’s Remembrance Garden,” with the goal of dedicating a place where parents and families can go to honor the life of their child.
“The purpose of the garden isn’t to be a memorial garden,” Saum said. “We don’t want it to feel like a cemetery.”
Siebenahler said, “We want it to be a safe place to find comfort.”
Plans call for a butterfly garden, a prayer wall, a pergola, a journal to write in, and a “little library” with lending material specific to grieving the death of a child. Also, someone is donating a pergola.
Luverne’s Betty Mann said the garden will especially comfort those whose loved ones aren’t buried locally.
“I just love that they’re doing this,” she said. “Because it’s going to give me a place to go and think about my daughter.”
Her daughter, Debra, died in 2000 at age 43 of an unknown illness and was cremated. “There’s no place where I can visit. I hope to have a little paver so she’s not forgotten.”
Public, private support
Organizers learned that the city didn’t have a use for the odd-shaped property, so they approached council members at their June 20 meeting.
“We don’t have to look very hard to find parents who are hurting,” Saum told council members.
He acknowledged that cemeteries serve this purpose, but he said this project serves a different purpose.
“A cemetery is the place you go to recognize a child is gone,” Saum said. “A healing garden is a place to recognize your child had lived.”
The council took no action on the request Tuesday, but expressed support for the project. “I think it’s a great idea,” said Mayor Pat Baustian. “Thanks for coming to talk about it.”
Public works supervisor John Stoffel said the city may clear some old, dying evergreens and help with some site preparation. But he cautioned that it shouldn’t become a long-term city responsibility.
A committee, including a council member, will handle long-term maintenance, and the group expressed interest in city hookups for water and electricity.
In addition to city support, local donors are providing financial support through the Luverne Area Community Foundation.
“We’re so excited about it, and it’s coming together so quickly,” Saum said. “It’s a beautiful spot. It’s like it was meant to be.”
He said the Child’s Remembrance Garden is for families in and around Rock County and in neighboring communities like Pipestone and Adrian.
To donate, contact the Luverne Area Community Foundation at 507-227-2424.
To help in other ways, email maggie.siebenahler@gmail.com or pat.saum@gmail.com.