Last week was the annual Bremer family vacation. Tradition requires that Savanna and Glenda go on a kayaking adventure. Last year we were the lesser-known twin sisters of Neil and Lance Armstrong. This year it was an unbearably hot and humid summer day when Savanna and Glenda competed in the Daytona 500 (went kayaking). You may be unaware that Savanna and Glenda are the little known twin sisters of NASCAR drivers Kasey Kahne and Matt Kenseth, respectively. Savanna Kayne drove a hot pink vehicle with capricious black flames painted on her #9 car. Glenda Kenseth, older and more refined, drove her #17 car painted in a lovely shade of pastel pink with the somewhat unpredictable chartreuse flames. As it turns out, Kasey Kahne was injured in a previous race and had a broken arm. Matt Kenseth broke his nose and both drivers were stuck in the pit. Therefore Savanna and Glenda were racing in their places. Whoopi Goldberg dropped the green flag and they began the race neck and neck. Suddenly and without warning, a random flock of turkey buzzards descended on the track. Savanna braked to a screeching halt to avoid the beasts. Glenda screeched to a halt, too, but was less fortunate. A turkey buzzard pecked a hole in her tire. The caution flag came out and the girls headed to the pit stall to sip on Gatorade and have their nail polish touched up while repairs were made. The race resumed and the girls entered the Tunnel of Terror (viaduct between two lakes). Savanna smacked the wall as Glenda speeded forth toward the finish line. Suddenly and without warning, Jeff Gordon, that weasel, skidded out of control on an oil slick (floating weeds) and rammed Glenda’s car. In the meantime, Savanna Kahne forged ahead toward victory. Out of nowhere, Glenda Kenseth reappeared on the tail of Savanna and inched passed her. For reasons unknown, Glenda spun out of control and headed down the track in the wrong direction. Savanna called her on the NASCAR radio system and said, "Glenda, you dingbat, you’re going the wrong way." All of a sudden, a rogue turkey buzzard nicked the windshield of Kurt Busch. He was black-flagged for hurting a bird. A feather was sucked into Savanna’s carburetor and it blew unexpectedly. The engine exploded into a blaze of fire. Fortunately, her twin brother, Kasey Kahne, screamed onto the track in his red #9 car and dragged Savanna from the fiery inferno. She grabbed the paddle (I mean, steering wheel) as Kasey popped into the backseat. Glenda finally came to her senses and casually reversed direction, hoping that NASCAR fans hadn't noticed her driving indiscretion. She downshifted into warp drive (this is fiction) and caught up with Savanna, driving Kasey’s car. It was the battle of the ages as Glenda and Savanna vied for victory. At the final moment, the NASCAR announcer proclaimed, "Savanna Kahne takes the checkered flag." I might add that she crossed the finish line just two milliseconds ahead of Glenda Kenseth. At the finish line, both drivers returned the kayaks to the beach, carried the paddles to the cabin, and went shopping. While I was on vacation, many books by your favorite authors came in. Here are a few: "Judge & Jury" by James Patterson; "Crisis" by Robin Cook; "Power Broker" by Stephen Frey; "Dead Wrong" by J.A. Jance.