A new cemetery in Australia hopes to stand out from all the others. In fact, "stand" will be the operative word at the cemetery which, in addition to providing inexpensive ($781 in U.S. currency), environmentally friendly burials, will bury its guests in vertical positions. The Darlington cemetery rules will also require bodies to be buried in simple body bags — instead of the usual caskets and waterproof vaults. "When you die, you are returned to the earth with a minimum of fuss and with no paraphernalia that would affect the environment," a cemetery spokesman told Australian Associated Press. The bodies of the dearly departed will be stood up in groups of up to 15 at a time and animals will be allowed to graze on the land after it is stable again. The vertical concept in cemeteries will require us to rethink the way we view final resting places. For example, headstones would only serve to trip grazing cows and cause countless udder disasters. The closest thing you could have to a headstone would be your head, and that would be out of sight, beneath the surface of the ground. Presumably, special arrangements will be made for people who are literally a head and shoulders above the rest of the crowd. A recent press release failed to mention whether "vertical burial" means the cemetery’s new clientele will be placed headfirst or feet first at their final addresses. Either way, the expression "heads up" might take on a new meaning in the fine print of burial contracts. In the end, perhaps being buried headfirst or feet first won’t matter to people who couldn’t tell one end from the other while they were still alive. Burial grounds in pastoral settings might be confusing to first-time visitors, particularly small children. "Mommy, why did we drive all this way, just to stare at dumb old cows in a pasture?" "We’re paying respects to Grandpa, dear." "Grandpa’s a cow?" Being buried in a pasture might resemble spending eternity as a lucky, sometimes unlucky, square in a grid for Cow Pie Bingo, a popular diversion at so many country fairs and rural celebrations. And forget those cemeteries with scenic views. The closest one might come to a scenic view would be in-your-face, close-up encounters with grazing animals. "Standing room only" signs will no longer be limited to theaters, sports arenas or concert halls. They might be posted on a pasture fence near you. People who choose to be environmentally correct, even after death, will tend to be revered by their survivors. Environmentalists, who often took a stand during their lifetimes, will continue to do their noble work after they pass on. Those select cemetery residents will be referred to as "people outstanding in their field." For all time they will be remembered as "stand outs" and "stand-up guys." Finally, the traditional epitaph "Rest in Peace" will be considered to be outdated and no longer relevant. A modest sign, placed somewhere on a fence and out of the cows’ way, might simply read, "Stand in Peace."