Most of us have to be reminded that we can’t have our cake and eat it, too. However, it is now possible to eat fish and drink fish at the same time. The Dalian Fisherman’s Song Maritime Biological Brewery, based in China, plans to turn fish into wine. The brewery will clean, boil and ferment fish in its wine- making process, according to the official Xinhua news agency. If you forgive the expression, orders are already pouring in from Japan, Russia and many parts of China. Experts report that the new fish wine is both nutritious and low in alcohol. Presumably, it will taste better than the cod liver oil from our childhoods. The new business, a hybrid combining both fishing and wine making, should bring about many changes in the way we think about both industries. For example, while the wine business might have its sommeliers, wine stewards and vintners, what will fish wine makers be called? Hookers? Fishners?Wine servers at fancy restaurants might feel obligated to inquire, "Will you like that wine both chilled and gilled?"Instead of asking themselves, "Which wine shall we serve with the fish?" party hostesses will ponder, "What should we serve with the fish wine?" Canapés, hors d’oeuvres, or crackers and cheese might be perfect with grape-based wines, but the new fish varieties might call for a wedge of fresh lemon and a side serving of tartar sauce. Professional wine tasters, rarely at a loss for words, will have to consider using new expressions. "Ah, Chang 2003! That was both a good year and an unforgettable river!""What a wonderful bouquet! Do I detect the subtle hint of a lower Mississippi River catfish?"Grape wines are traditionally identified with their origins. That’s why we have wines named for the geographical regions of Bordeaux, Chablis, Burgundy, Beaujolais, Champagne and Gallo Brothers. In much the same way, fish wines could be named for their points of origin — their rivers and lakes. In addition, we could have Long John Silver whites and Red Lobster reds. Who are we to criticize this new concept until we have tried the wines created by Mrs. Paul, already famous for her fish sticks?Grape wines are also recognized by the varieties of grape used in the wine- making process. That’s why we have wine names such as pinot Gris, Riesling and chardonnay, rather than seeded, seedless, white, green, black and red. Taken one step further, someday we might see Walleye Whites sold on liquor shelves. They could be marketed with the snappy slogan, "Drink until you see the whites of their eyes!"Cold weather states, such as Minnesota, might profit with their own fish wineries. Even though their winters are too austere and nasty for most varieties of wine grapes, many of the Upper Midwest states could become the new Napa Valleys of wine making with their own Perch Blushes. Other wines, yet unnamed, could be fermented from northern pikes, bluegills and both large and small-mouthed bass. Finally, if large vats of grapes are traditionally stomped with bare feet at wine making festivities in warmer climates, why can’t we have piles of dead, rotting fish crushed with bare feet at our own festivals? It could be a real boost for tourism.