Taking a cue from an increasing number of U.S. companies, many families are now outsourcing their parental responsibilities. However, rather than shipping off their children to be raised in third world countries, they are hiring coaches to come into their homes and teach their children everything from table manners to baseball pitching skills. A columnist in The Wall Street Journal recently reported that children specialists can "assist with everything from potty-training your toddler to getting your teenage daughter to agree to a passably modest prom dress." This should be wonderful news for any parent reluctant to send a daughter off into the night looking like a streetwalker. Parents who are too busy with their careers can now hire someone to teach kids to ride bikes for $60 an hour or someone else to calm down a fussy baby. Toilet training sessions begin at $185 an hour and — this is no joke — a parent coach can teach any parent how to say "no" for about $75 an hour. Outsourcing childcare can be a win-win situation. If the kids don’t turn out to be socially acceptable when they’re older, the so-called experts can always be blamed. We would have parenthood without the guilt. We would never have to ask ourselves, "Where did we go wrong?" or "Do you think this behavior could come from your side of the family?" Critics of outsourcing might wonder what will be left for parents to do with their children. With most of the parenting responsibilities delegated to paid experts, there would be little more than dressing the children and showing them off to visitors. Proponents of the plan might argue that outsourcing is not enough for truly busy parents. Why should they waste valuable time, much better spent at work, performing the mundane, often unappreciated tasks required of parents? Those tasks might be alleviated with a service offering "Rent a Kid." "Rent a Kid" would eliminate the need for maternity leaves from work and even childbirth itself. However, if a working couple should feel compelled for some strange reason to take a kid to a movie, a simple phone call to "Rent a Kid" would provide the perfect solution. After reciting a credit card number, the temporary parents would only have to specify gender, age and event-appropriate clothing. The agency might also have to know the location of the movie theater for drop-off and pick-up purposes. "Rent a Kid" services would eliminate the need to hire and feed babysitters. There would be no costly education expenses and no bills from pediatricians or orthodontists. Paying for baby teeth left under pillows and lighting increasing numbers of candles on birthday cakes would be the concerns of unfortunate parents unable to rent their own children. It will no longer be necessary to stop doing the important work you brought home from the office in order to kiss a child’s bruise, cut or scrape and make it better. You won’t find tell-tale spit-up marks on the shoulders of your power suits at work. You will never have to read the cooking directions on a box of macaroni and cheese and you won’t have to pretend to be excited about bouquets of dandelions in the spring. Your house will be cleaner and your schedule more organized than anyone else’s. All a working person really needs to project an occasional parental image is a "Rent a Kid" for use as a social prop or "‘show and tell" every once in a while.