Increasing numbers of milk drinkers in Canada have the best of all worlds. They are able to eat their fish and drink it, too. "Some landlocked Canadian cows are enjoying a little seafood with their hay and grain," recently reported Reuters, "so they can produce a new kind of milk being touted for its benefits for the brain, eyes and nerves." Researchers at the University of Guelph developed the milk, which is now produced by herring-fed cows in Ontario and sold by Canada’s largest food processor and distributor. The milk provides a fatty acid, commonly found in salmon, trout and mackerel, to diets of people who don’t eat enough fish. Only time will tell if consumers will fall hook, line and sinker for the new dairy product. Will they drink it like fish or will they think of it as just another crazy fish story? We can only imagine that when fisheries and dairies join forces, their new combination beverage will be offered in the following types –— whole, two-percent, skim and lightly battered. The article from Reuters failed to mention the name of the new dairy product. To differentiate the herring-milk from what Coca-Cola spokesmen might call "Classic Milk," it could be advertised as "mish" or "filk." Both names are short and catchy, perfect for the advice mothers feel obligated to dispense. "Now, be sure to drink your mish, children, or your teeth, bones, brains, nerves and eyes will fall out." What’s good enough for Canadians eventually finds its way to our own grocery shelves. The following tell-tale signs might indicate if you and your family are drinking milk from herring-fed cows: You might suspect something is fishy when, halfway through a glass of milk, you have inexplicable cravings for tartar sauce and a wedge of lemon. You read on the milk carton that the milk inside is processed by Chicken of the Sea or Mrs. Paul, better known for her fish sticks. The "Got milk?" ads in the media take on a new flavor — "Got herring?" or "Got mish?" You develop an adverse reaction to anything resembling fishing nets, including hairnets, fishnet stockings, and even basketball, badminton and volleyball nets. With enough of the new milk in your system, you discover that you react differently to old clichés, such as "swim like a fish" or "to be like a fish out of water." When people tell you they have "other fish to fry" or that so-and-so should "fish or cut bait", you find that you are suddenly craving a tall, frosty cold glass of filk. Canadian critics of the new milk view it as a "fish out of troubled waters." They believe cows should continue turning grass and hay into foods for humans. According to the critics, cows shouldn’t be part of a designer diet fad. If scientists and nutritionists are going to go through all of the time, money and effort anyway, they should be able to come up with more palatable food combinations than milk and herring. Let’s face it. A herring is little more than a sardine without its can. For example, how about feeding lobster meat to beef cattle? That way, we could experience a true "surf and turf" dinner — all in one bite.