By Sara Quam
As Betty Iveland sits at her kitchen table, she can read her motto tacked to a bulletin board: "Unless life is lived for others, it is not worthwhile."
She got the card years ago, but the statement, made by Mother Teresa, stays with her every day.
Most Rock Countians know Betty from her years of service as an event planner and head cook at the former VFW. Her work there started out as a simple service.
"I was working for the VFW and the good of the VFW," Betty said.
In 1960-61 she was the auxiliary president and donated her labor. When the next president couldn't do the same, she stayed on and eventually was paid - a whopping $10 per dinner.
Her cooking and abilities as an organizer made the VFW a premier reception and party center.
When the VFW closed last May and Sharkee's opened in the same building, Betty kept the job for a while. "I finished out the receptions that I booked," she said.
Still keeping on
Quitting wasn't really on Betty's mind, but with a change of ownership, it became a time of transition when she thought she should step aside. "I wish I could've been 20 years younger so I could work longer," she said.
She liked the challenge of the job and being a part of so many weddings, but now she's spending more time on herself.
She keeps busy quilting - right now her favorite pattern is grandmother's flower garden. She listens to music, reads newspapers, finishes jumble puzzles and has just started taking up tatting, the craft of knotting thread into a fine lace.
Betty plans to keep collecting old paintings, pewter and antique linens, too.
The time off of work was needed. She's about to undergo double knee replacement surgery, and as a mother of eight, will spend Mother's Day in the hospital.
She thinks she can handle the down time, even though she's a woman who never really sits still.
The way she ran a tight ship in the kitchen earned her a reputation for knowing the right way to do things and not being shy about enforcing those ways.
For that spunk and for years of serving their meals, the National Guard made her an honorary sergeant. "A lot of people call me 'Sarge,' but sometimes somebody's got to take charge. I didn't do it in a mean way, but it needed to be done."
She pointed out that the VFW auxiliary is still active. "We are still an auxiliary and are still doing all the work we did."
The group now meets at the Minnesota Veteran's Home in Luverne, which is on one level and meets the needs of many members. She's proud of all the good the VFW meals and events earned for the auxiliary. The organization gave substantial amounts to the hockey arena and baseball field projects.
"I feel we couldn't have done it without that income," Betty said.
Lots of memories
Although she's known as a sharp manager and has received countless compliments, she balks at being greatly skilled. "Well, hey, I did it so long," she said. "It was just a self-taught skill."
She even had a couple close calls, so she knows she's less than perfect. "Sometimes we'd serve and it would be, boy, we just made that one."
With all the detailed work, it's amazing that more mistakes weren't made. She planned with the bride or other event organizer, took care of purchasing, stocking, meeting with salesmen, organizing help, food preparation and did all the math for new recipes.
"As a rule I did the harder work myself. If there was a dirty job, I did it. But I couldn't have done that without my co-workers' help," she said.
The nights and weekends she had to work actually fit into her family schedule because older children could baby-sit the younger ones when she was working. And sometimes they joined her in event preparations.
"My kids have great memories of helping," she said.
Working with her children or co-workers and friends is something she adored. "I'm a people person and in the later years, that became an outlet for me to see people."
Even when she could afford to not work, she still worked. "After I started receiving a pension, I kept working because I enjoyed the work, but I limited it to cooking," she said.
In the end, her job was one that allowed for family time. Her only regret is that she didn't keep records of all the weddings she was a part of.
"I worked for the good part of 30 years, and people still come up to me and say I did their mother's wedding or their wedding 30 years ago."