“Do as I say, not as I do” is an old saying that most adults can relate to once in a while.
We find ourselves giving advice to young people but not always following that wisdom ourselves.
I had such an experience last week while chaperoning a school trip to Washington, D.C.
We had a great trip and we saw and learned so much.
Some of what we learned was planned. Some was not.
On our last night, we had the opportunity to explore the neighborhood around our hotel.
When we teachers went to a candy store, we noticed some of our students in a store next door that offered “the world’s hottest hot sauce.”
We shook our heads, hoped for the best and headed for our much safer candy samples instead.
Later that night I was returning to my room when I was met by a group of our students offering me a sample of “the world’s hottest hot sauce.”
My first thought was no way.
“Come on, Mr. B, you gotta try it,” they said. “Just a little bit. You gotta see how hot it is.”
I’m not sure if it was the exhaustion, the adventurous spirit that comes with travel, my own curiosity, or just plain stupidity, but I found myself with my finger in the little container ready to give it a try.
How hot could such a small amount of sauce really be?
As it turns out, incredibly, unbelievably hot.
I was smart enough to wipe my finger on the side of the container to make sure my sample size was very small.
Not small enough, however.
As soon as the sauce hit my tongue, I knew I was in trouble.
My physical, and social, survival skills immediately kicked in.
I turned around and frantically tried to get my key card to work to get into my room … and away from my students.
They must not see my pain.
I began to sweat, my ears turned red, my nose began to run, my eyes teared up, I couldn’t feel my teeth and my entire lower face, both inside and outside, was in some pretty serious pain.
I ran for the sink and washed out my mouth over and over. I put my tongue in cold water. I brushed my teeth, then buried my face in a cold washcloth.
I don’t want to exaggerate and say I thought I was going to die, but I wasn’t sure I was going to survive.
Finally, after about 15 minutes of intense, private self-care and self-doubt, I began to return to normal.
Then I began to ask questions.
How could I be so foolish? How can such a small amount of sauce do so much damage? How is it even legal to sell that stuff?
In the end, I survived. I came away with a column topic and a story that students will bring up for years.
I also learned to do as I say, and to be careful of what I buy in the state of Maryland.