Remember the movie, “Paul Blart: Mall Cop?”
In the 2009 comedy, the main character takes a job as a mall security guard and patrols on a Segway making sure the mall is safe and clean.
Of course the humor in the movie is that, although he takes his job very seriously, the “mall cop” has little actual authority.
I can’t help but feel a little like Kevin James’ character in the movie sometimes.
In addition to my summer part-time job here at the newspaper, my other very-part-time gig is parking attendant at the Verne Drive-In Theatre.
On weekend nights when the drive-in is expected to be busy, I drive around on the golf cart helping people park in an orderly way that keeps lanes open and allows in as many cars as possible for people to see the movie.
This means I also end up answering questions from customers, enforcing drive-in rules and fielding complaints from customers about the people parked near them.
That’s right … I’m basically the “drive-in cop.”
Like Blart patrolling the mall on his Segway, I’ve got my golf cart to keep the drive-in safe and clean.
Don’t worry, I’m in on the joke. I realize I have little authority and a top speed of about 15 miles per hour.
In fact, about all I’ve got to serve and protect the drive-in public is a flashlight and a jump starter.
But that’s what makes it fun.
I get to welcome people and find out where they are from. It’s amazing how far some people travel to see movies at our drive-in.
Sometimes old college friends or former students I haven’t seen in years flag me down and introduce me to their spouse and kids.
Toddlers sitting in their little lawn chairs in front of the family minivan wave as I go by as if I’m important.
Overall, I try to help make sure people have a good experience at — and want to come back to — one of Luverne’s biggest tourist attractions.
Of course it’s not all fun and games on the golf cart.
Some people have a hard time following the drive-in rules, especially on nights when the place is sold out.
People forget that when you have your hatch open, those behind you may not be able to see the screen.
Or they don't realize that when you park too far from the vehicle next to you on a busy night, others have to be turned away because the theater is full.
This is when my professional behavior management training and years of experience giving “the teacher look” come in handy.
Indeed, those few difficult drive-in citizens can make my four-hour-a-week career in pretend law enforcement a challenging one.
But overall, most people are just happy to be outside, under the stars, enjoying one of the few drive-in theaters left in the Upper Midwest.
To be honest, that’s why this drive-in cop is there, too.
So next time you take the family to our local drive-in, make sure to be considerate of others, enjoy the experience and wave at the drive-in cop on patrol.