Well, Phase 1 of the bike path is done.
I’ve been opposed to the bike path because I believe the role of government is to secure the nation’s borders and defend liberty. I don’t see recreation on the list of “things government must provide for the people." But, the path is moving forward without my blessing so I might as well use it.
I might as well use it because it’s in my back yard.
Prior to the bike path, my back yard consisted of an unused portion of a city park and two cemeteries. (Doesn’t get any quieter than that.)
Now it includes a bike path which is also used as a walking path.
Couples walk quietly by. They are married and have nothing to say to each other.
Pairs of women walk on the path yakking like geese about who knows what. Men do not go for walks together.
Heart-broken toddlers go past my backyard wailing at the tops of their lungs having just passed the playground equipment and been told, “We’re not going to the park. We’re just going to walk.”
WWAAUUGGGHHH!!!
The neighbor dog and I agree that the park was better before the path. He’s a giant chocolate lab who has taken on the assignment of barking at all the strangers on the path. “Good boy.”
The giant barking dog enhances the experience of the families on the path. “It’s OK, Honey. He’s behind a fence. See the fence? Yes, the big dog is behind a fence. He can’t get us. No. We are not going to play on the toys in the park. We are walking now.”
WWAAUUGGGHHH!
Like everyone else, I sit on my deck to have a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a cool beverage at the end of the day. But I use my deck at midday, too.
I used to sunbathe in a skanky little bikini at noon, the wearing of which would land me in the cop report if I wore it in public. Now I can’t take any chances.
“Complainant walking on bike path reports elderly woman in skanky bikini has collapsed in back yard. Might be medical event.”
Until my newly planted shrubs get taller, I’ll just have to stick with the pasty white skin I was born with and forego the sunbathing.
Under duress I might confess that there are aspects of the bike path that I actually like. I like that it’s really pretty in some places, especially where it winds through shade trees.
I like that it will connect so many different parts of the city and, maybe, cause a few more people to walk or bike instead of driving.
But I think I’d like it even better if it was in YOUR back yard!