As you know, when I write these columns, I usually take a humorous look at an everyday situation. I start with the premise, “The column must be about something funny.”
Sometimes, what’s funny is that I wait until the very last minute to write my column and turn it in to the dear editor at Tollefson Publishing. She has an obsessive focus on something she calls “deadlines.”
After waiting too long to write my column about something funny, it’s hard to be funny. One can’t just generate “funny” out of thin air.
So here I am, two hours from the deadline trying to think of something funny to write about.
(OK, actually, it’s 5 a.m. Tuesday morning. Columns are due Friday at 5 p.m., but whatever.)
My granddaughters are funny. At ages seven and four, just being around them is funny.
They built a tree fort at the base of an evergreen in our backyard. One of their concerns was that the tree was in the way of their fort and they wanted to cut it down.
That’s funny.
Chickens are funny. The way chickens walk is even funnier. One of my chickens has a limp. I don’t know how she hurt her leg (which is NOT funny), but a limping chicken is a funny thing to observe.
I’m wondering if there has ever been a rock band called The Limping Chickens. If not, there should be.
The fact that our house has been half painted for over a month is funny. (Well, maybe not to the neighbors.)
In mid May I decided our house was the wrong color and marched down to Ace for the annual paint sale.
Twice, I bought two gallons of what turned out to be the wrong color.
I’m not that great at math but that’s like buying three or five gallons of paint I didn’t need just to save a little money.
After painting so much of the wrong color, I ran out of steam when it came to finishing the right color. The week of 100-degree heat and the fact that I was tired of painting didn’t help either, but I’m not one to make excuses.
Speaking of excuses, I wonder if the editor will believe my column is late because I’ve been painting my house, building tree forts and caring for a limping chicken?
Wouldn’t it be funny if she did?